A Sad Story About Blogging, Pride and Internet Spam

So, I keep a real blog, in addition to this secret blog, and it is about boring family things, and read primarily by family people, who love seeing additional photo evidences of parties they know they went to and Christmas gifts they know they gave.

The things we do for the people we love…..

Anyway. So. I did what any self-respecting boring family blogger did and went on some XML exporting site and downloaded my whole blog as a PDF and HAD IT PRINTED, HOLLA.

Actually, it was my mother’s idea. She said, and I quote, “Honey, I think that you should print out all of your blog posts in case the internet crashes.” WHAT??

But because she’s my mother,
AND BECAUSE I LOVE HER SO SOOO MUCH,
(and because, who am I kidding, it makes me giddy to read my words on actual white paper with actual standard binding),
I had that book printed up and gave my mom a copy and watched her grin for two weeks
(AND WHO AM I KIDDING AGAIN, I WAS GRINNING TOO FOR THE WHOLE TWO WEEKS).

Okay so. That’s the backstory.

When I got the book, it was beautiful, and it had everyone’s sweet comments on it. It had the comments on blog posts back in 2006 where some boy I was pretty sure I was in love with happened to stop by my site and left an eloquent comment that left me in the clouds for days (I think it was, “Cool post!”). He posted anonymously, but I knew it was him because I tracked the IP addresses regularly; to my dismay, he only visited once, although I blogged with him in mind for a year….or three.

It had all of the comments from my relatives, saying how much they looooooooooved the pictures. At the end, they would always tack on one of the requisite post-scripts:

You’re so pretty, I can’t believe how much you look like your mom!

Your Great-Great Grandma Betty was a writer, too; she would’ve been so proud of you.

I can’t believe you hold down a job AND blog, you can do anything!

They knew that adding one of these three on the end would be sufficient inspiration for me to keep blogging, and since I’m a sucker for compliments…..

It had the comments I added to my own blog: OH I’M SO SORRY GRANDMA I FORGOT TO PUT THAT GREAT PICTURE OF YOUR GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE! And, OH HI COUSIN TJ, SORRY I CROPPED YOUR HEAD OUT OF THAT PHOTO! And other disclaimers designed to keep the peace up in these parts.

But also.

I had forgotten that I have open comments on my blog, and shall we just say? ALL OF THE SPAM COMMENTS EVER POSTED ON MY BLOG MADE IT INTO THAT STUPID BOOK. I never bother to delete the spam comments because, seriously? None of my relatives care. I don’t care.

But now that it’s a book, and now that it’s on our shelf, and now that people can walk in and be all, ‘OH, NO WAY, YOU HAD YOUR BLOG PUBLISHED????’ as though they’re suddenly interested in tracking my blog although I’ve had the link posted on my Facebook for one billion years but still only receive an average of .02 hits per day, and then they start perusing and – WHAT OH MY GOODNESS WHY IS JANE BLOGGING ABOUT VIAGRA AND RUSSIAN MAIL ORDER BRIDES AND WAYS TO TRICK THE IRS INTO FORGIVING YOUR TAXES??

I have had to scribble a disclaimer in the front of my poor blog book, and it seems that no matter how many times I open that book up to peruse it at nights when I want to feel happy about my writing abilities, all I see is (and yes, this is an actual comment that was left on my blog: enjoy):

 

By: Anonymous

I sell a boat-program which will help you to outwit auction and to win, initially the boat was created for the

Scandinavian auction http://internet-aukcion.ru/ but now the program can work with similar auctions: gagen ru,

vezetmne ru and with ten.

The program-boat stakes for you, i.e. for this purpose it is not necessary to sit constantly at the monitor. The boat

can set time when it is necessary to stake, thus you as much as possible will lower expenses for rates, and as much as

possible increase the chances of a victory.

The price of the program a boat for the Scandinavian auctions 20 $

For the _rst 10 clients the price 15 $

To all clients free updating and support.

Behind purchases I ask in icq: 588889590 Max.

 

 

 

P.S. DON’T WORRY, I VERIFIED THE IP’s AND THIS ANONYMOUS IS NOT THE SAME AS THE OLD SEMI-BOYFRIEND ANONYMOUS.